“Say ‘No!’ to Zombies” Day 57-60

What happens when a person with some common sense wakes up to a “zombie apocalypse”? Shit gets done, that’s what.

Spoiler: the dog doesn’t die.

Please note: this work of fiction involves a lot of swear words/cussing and adult themes. Kiddos beware.

June 13th


I remember what it was I wanted to add yesterday! It was about when we stopped at Food Lion. The place was ransacked, of course, but we found formula, dog food, and seeds! We took pans and bowls from the last place and filled them up with dirt so we can get some planting going on. It probably would’ve been better to use one of those big bags of soil, but we have to work with what we have, and what we have is good ol’ Virginia dirt.

Actually, wait. We’re in North Carolina now. So good ol’ North Carolinian dirt. Whatever. We stayed on the highway and found a couple more gas stations to raid. Only one of them had food in it, but that worked out for us. We managed to snag a couple more tarps and Mike suggested taking the bags of barbecue coals with us. He thinks he can do the dakota fire thing from those videos we downloaded, and the coals will make it a lot easier to get the fire started. We also took all of the lighters we could find. We had kept our matches in a ziplock bag, so they didn’t get wet in the storm, but we figured it’d be a good idea to keep the lighters on hand too, just in case.

We’ve actually made camp at one of the gas stations off the highway. Not my first choice, but we were all tired.

I looked at the map, and we’re gonna try and snag some more cars. Otherwise we’re gonna still be walking in fucking August. It’s hot enough as it is, it’s gonna be killer here in another month. Scott wants to hold off though. Said it would be better to collect all the gas cans we can find and start siphoning gas from every car we come across. He wants us to find a couple pick up trucks, rather than just grabbing a couple cars. If we get a couple trucks, we could throw the wagons in the back and go a lot further/faster, instead of having to go slow to avoid losing them. Karla suggested getting one truck and either a couple cars or a car and an SUV. We could pack the supplies in the trunk of the car, put the wagons in the truck, and most of us could pile up in the SUV. We’re gonna see how it works out.

Right now there isn’t much point in even trying it, with all the cars piled up on the highway, but I dunno. Josh suggested grabbing cars and taking them offroad, but I think he’s forgotten how many cars we’ve seen abandoned on the shoulders. Even if we had a truck capable of going offroad, it’d be a struggle, and following it with a car? Yeah, I don’t think so.

For now, we’re stocking up on shit like stop leak, fix-a-flat and radiator fluid. It’s making the wagons heavier, but if we get ourselves a vehicle, it’ll be worth it.

Alright, gotta let Lucky back in (Scott let him out to do his business) and then get some sleep. I have dawn watch. Goodnight.

June 14th


FUCK. How did I live here for so long and NOT realize that NC is almost as bad as fucking Virginia with the swamps?! Sonofabitch. We tried to go offroad today, but we always ended up right back on the highway cause of one mudhole or another.

Ugh. We found a truck. Only one, and it only had half a tank of gas, but we threw both wagons in the back, then found a couple cars and followed. Found a lot more gas stations, but most of them were picked clean of everything but chips and soda. We’re in a hotel right now. No power, but some of the doors to the rooms were stuck open, either with bodies or random shit people apparently dropped on their way out, so we slipped in and made ourselves at home. I’m taking first watch tonight. The guys want to get lots of sleep tonight so they can explore the town tomorrow morning. We’re surrounded by abandoned cars and trucks, so they’re gonna try and pick out a few good ones and get them ready to go.

We actually hadn’t planned on stopping here. We were all piled in on top of each other in the cars, but we figured we could make it another couple miles. Ben and Dave saw the cars around the hotels and insisted we stop. We made the most of the leftover light and got settled, then they disappeared for a while.

Bah, I say disappeared, but they just went out to the parking lot. We were keeping watch for them. Things were a little hairy at first. A couple of the cars had the windows down, but the boys kept their eyes open and avoided the flailing arms. One of the trolls actually managed to fling itself out of the window and tried chasing them. Dave and Ben split between the cars and sandwiched its head between their bats.

It was…interesting to watch, but Scott cussed his brother up one wall and down the other when they got back. Accused him of not taking things seriously, and putting himself in unnecessary danger. Dave walked away mid-bitchfit which, needless to say, did not go over well. We all kinda retreated to our rooms and let them sort it out between themselves. It’s quiet now, so I’m assuming everything is okay, but who knows with those two. I don’t remember the last time I saw Scott so pissed off. Especially with Dave. We’re all a little touchy right now though, too much death and whatthefuck, but all things considered, we’re handling it pretty well.

Anyway. Time to get to watching. Yay.


June 15th

1:22 pm

Have you ever noped the fuck outta town? We did. Today. Not sure if the running away from NYC counts as noping the fuck out, but this one definitely did.

We didn’t realize how close we were to Rocky Mount. We turned a corner, and holy fuck. It’s fucking leveled. Parts were still smouldering. We got so turned around and lost trying to get back to the highway until Scott apparently thought, “hey, fuck the traffic laws!” and got us the hell outta there.

I’m not sure what was more disturbing: the smoking ruins, or the trolls just standing around, staring at the damage.

We didn’t stop again until we were well out of town, and even then, it was just a quick, “Okay, you guys saw that too, right?” and then we went back to noping.

We’re stopped now, the guys ran over to check out a couple stores by the roadside. I think we’re gonna go for another hour or two and then try to find somewhere to stop. By car, with a full tank of gas, and if we weren’t having to make our way around the other cars in the way, we’d only be about 2 hours away from my dad’s place. We only have about a quarter tank left though, one of the trucks is down to an eighth, and the SUV isn’t much better.

Oh, right. Um, We have two trucks, a car and an SUV (a Kia something, I forget what). Forgot to mention that. The wagons are in the trucks, Ben and Dave are driving one, Scott and Roger are in the other. Karla, Mike, and the kids are in the Kia, and Abby and I are in the car with Lucky and Bridget (Ha! I remembered her name right this time!).

I was driving, but when the boys stopped, Abby and I switched places. They’re back now, so I’m done.


Another bonus to being in cars: much easier to get the hell outta dodge in.

The boys got done with their raiding, and we got further down the road before we decided to stop for a break. Everything was going well til Chloe said “Who’s that?” Turned around and, oh, isn’t that just bloody wonderful.

A troll.

We all went quiet at first and just watched. It was a couple hundred yards away, and it wasn’t headed directly towards us, the angle was all wrong, but we weren’t taking any chances. We began packing up our lunch stuff and moving towards the cars as quietly as we could when Jason tapped on my shoulder. I thought he was gonna ask if he could ride with Abby and I this time, but then he pointed back towards where the troll had first appeared.

There were at least 20-30 more (probably a lot more, to be honest), and they were headed directly for us. We ditched stealth for speed and got everyone in the cars and took off. Roger and I were in the car with Melly, bringing up the rear (we lost a little time giving Bridget to Abby to carry in the Kia), when we heard barking.

We had forgotten Lucky. We look back, and he’s following us, running his ass off, and the trolls have started to….not run, but they had a nice jog going on.

Roger was driving, so he screeched to a halt, and Melly threw open the back door and whistled. Good lord, that girl could shatter ear drums, but hey, it got Lucky moving. He really put on the speed, which is a good thing, cause so did the trolls. Apparently they can run now, folks, isn’t that just fucking wonderful? Ugh. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, with everything else they’re picking back up. I had just kinda hoped we’d be lucky, and they wouldn’t relearn that particular skill.

If they start talking, I’m out.

But back to the dog. Got him in the backseat, Melly slammed the door and we took off again. We had been driving on the shoulders of the highway, the best we could, but Scott was in the lead, and he took us offroad. We managed to make it, oh, about halfway across the field to the other road before we hit something, or maybe we got stuck, I’m not sure. This part is kinda blurry. Roger thinks it might be the concussion, but I remember us stopping, really quick and getting out to run…and then I woke up.

From what I’ve been told, Dave saw us running away from the car, and threw on the brakes so we could catch up. Ben got Lucky in the front of the truck, and the rest of climbed in the bed of it, next to the wagon.

The unsecured wagon.

Yeah, I think you can guess where this is going. Truck took off, we all went different ways, and the wagon went the only way it could go. If it wasn’t for Roger’s quick thinking, I’d probably be dead. As it is, he’s got himself a messed up shoulder. We’re not sure if the wagon broke his shoulder blade, or if it’s just a really bad bruise, but we broke out one of the few first aid kits that survived the storm and got him set up with a cooling pad…thing.

We’ve stopped for the night. Josh and Ben are on watch. Tomorrow, we’re gonna try to find another SUV or truck, instead of car. In the meantime, I’m not allowed to drive. I’m not sure where we are, either. Scott said he just got us as far from the highway as possible. There’s a bunch of trees around us, and a giant shed looking thing (maybe a trailer?) out back, but other than that, I dunno.

I’m also not allowed to sleep for the next three hours, so I’m “unofficially” on watch with Josh and Ben. Not much else to do. We didn’t light any candles, and electricity is a thing of the past at this point. I keep hoping we’ll come across a survivalist with solar panels, I would kill for a hot bath right about now.


June 16th


WE FOUND CHICKENS! They were all dead, but I had my hopes up for all about an hour. It was some kinda hatchery. Not entirely sure why they’re all dead, but Scott, Dave and Ben checked it out, and no luck. Probably better that way, since I’m not sure how we would’ve managed carrying any with us..

We ended up back on the highway. We skipped the idea of getting another car. The roads we’ve been coming across have been too crowded anyway. Roger and I rode with the kids as long as we could, and then we all got out and walked.

We found another town in ruins, Kenly, this time. Luckily, we found it before we started walking. It was a lot like back in Rocky Mount. Trolls everywhere, just standing and staring. We noped out of there real quick. Made it a bit further south, and there was another town gone. I’m not sure which one it was though. I was too busy looking for trolls, I didn’t pay attention to the signs.

We found a store outside of town, half burned out. Had a bunch of clothes and hunting stuff. It looked like they used to carry bows and guns, but somebody must’ve got to them before we did. The place was picked clean of the good stuff. We took a bunch of the clothes that weren’t too badly burned up and some coolers. Karla said coolers are better for storing stuff that needs to be protected from water. I’m not entirely convinced, but I let her grab a few anyway.

Got a little further south, and Scott pulled over to have a little meeting on the side of the road. We were coming up on Selma, and he wanted to know if we really wanted to try driving through that, or trying to find another way around. As big as Selma is, there is no way it’s still standing, which means we’d be headed right into another troll fest. So yeah. We just said screw it and started unpacking the truck.

We didn’t make it very far. It was already close to five when we stopped, so we just concentrated on getting away from the highway, and into a house.

It worked out okay for us. This place is huge. Not enough beds, but between the couches and blankets, we’re all settled in. The place has a garage, so we parked the wagons in there for the night.

There’s two trolls wandering the neighborhood. One is walking up the street, the other is walking down. They reach the end of the road and turn around. Each time they meet each other in the middle, they raise their hands like they’re waving to each other and keep on going. I told Roger, it’s like they’re old friends from the Zombie PTA or the Bridge club for the undead.

We had ourselves a good laugh until Ben ruined it by asking if it was possible for the trolls to develop a patrolling system. “What if something happens to one of those trolls? Would the other one notice? Would it raise an alarm?”

Fuck you, Ben. I was hoping to actually sleep tonight. Asshole. Now I’m watching these two trolls like they’re ticking time bombs.

What makes it worse, is now we have to wonder…what if that troll the other day was walking the way he did, on purpose? We were so busy watching that one, we missed the larger group coming our way. If they are getting smarter the way we suspect they are, we have to consider the idea that they’re learning how to work in teams, and doesn’t that just beat all?

Oh yeah, and Roger has a theory, by the way. About the virus, or whatever it is. He says that there’s a parasite that can only reproduce in cats. In order to get into a cat’s body, it infects a rat or a bird, something the cat will eat, and actually take over part of the animal’s brain. Once it’s in the brain, it manipulates the rat or bird to not be afraid of cats. So, let’s say it takes over a rat’s brain. It will then make the rat run around where it can smell cats until the cat catches it and eats it. The virus reproduces in the cat, and the eggs are laid in the cat’s feces.

He thinks this virus or whatever, might actually be a parasite like that. The only problem is…it doesn’t really make sense. I mean, the way it works, taking over the brain, that part makes sense, but…why? Why infect humans? We’re at the top of the food chain. The only thing that feeds off of us are bugs like mosquitoes and ticks. So what’s the point of that?

Abby suggested the parasite evolved in the feces of the big cats like lions and tigers in the zoos. We’re top of the food chain, for the most part, but we’d be easy pickings for cats like those. If the cats were able to get out of their enclosures, anyway. Jason suggested aliens. Abby sent him to bed. It’s a fair enough suggestion though. I mean, for all we know, the aliens need human bodies to survive on Earth. Maybe an astronaut brought something back from space without realizing it? I thought they were all put in quarantine when they came back from outer space, but maybe that’s just a myth?


Too much stuff we don’t know. Fuck it, I’m going to bed. Goodnight.

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