[Say ‘No’ to Zombies] Day 37-39

What happens when a person with some common sense wakes up to a “zombie apocalypse”? Shit gets done, that’s what.

Spoiler: the dog doesn’t die.

Please note: this work of fiction involves a lot of swear words/cussing and adult themes. Kiddos beware.

May 24th

2:42 pm

We are entirely too close to the city. I don’t like it. Hopefully we won’t be here long.

Scott, Ben, Dave and Josh all headed into town to the store. According to google maps, it should only take them about 20 minutes to bike to the store, I’ll give them 40, just in case they run into trouble, so that’s 80 minutes an hour and 20 minutes (going both ways). Give them another 2 hours to get through the store to the outside stuff department….shit, I don’t think they took flashlights!

Okay, I just called them. They each have two and extra batteries.

Back on track. 2 hours to get the stuff. So hopefully no more than 4 hours, then we can get on the road again.

While the boys are gone, us ladies have our own work to do. There’s a couple gas stations and hotels all within about a mile from us. Abby, Melly, Becca and I are going to hit the gas stations. Jason and Gabby are going to be our scouts. Roger and Mike are staying with the kids and Karla is in charge of communications between the boys and us (woohoo, look us running like a fine tuned machine!).

We’re just waiting for everyone to get their bathroom runs done. Honestly, we should probably have just two people going at a time, but I’m worried about the amount of trolls we may run into. If some of us get tired, we can take the place of Roger or Karla, and let the other do some running, but ugh. I’d prefer to just do it all at once. Not really likely, but I can hope.

Okay, all done. Wish us luck.

7:48 pm

Looks like we’re gonna be here for at least another night.

So. We got to the first gas station, no problem. It was literally across the street from the house. We got quite a bit from it, and dropped it off at the house for Mike and Roger to sort out, then headed back out. There was a hotel between us and the other gas station, so we ran in there to check it out. Nothing much of interest there. I mean, I kinda figured there wouldn’t be, but I had hoped, you know? Didn’t even bother with the Mexican food place next to it. Any food in there isn’t likely to be good anymore. It’s been almost a month, and I think the food is only supposed to be good for up to two weeks? I’m not sure, but I’m not risking it.

Anyway, went to the second gas station, and 1. The gas station was pretty much picked clean, 2. Jason and Gabby were waiting for us.

They were supposed to be outside keeping an eye out, so of course I asked “what the fuck?”

“Something moved.”

OF COURSE something moved. It’s a fucking zombie apocalypse! Which okay, fair enough, I wouldn’t want to be outside with that going on either, BUT…the movement was in one of the hotels next to the gas station, and Gabby said it didn’t move like a troll. So hey, possible survivors!

My dumbass let the others talk me into checking it out.

We have three new people. Bridget, Shya (pretty much pronounced how it’s spelled), and a baby. Bridget worked the night shift at the hotel, so she was there when the shit started. She’s not sure what happened to the baby’s parents, she wasn’t there when the family checked in, so she doesn’t know if they ended up as trolls or what. She only found the baby because she was trying to make sure all the doors were locked, and she heard it screaming. She had a crowbar she kept in her car (that she built herself!!!), so she took that and the manager key, and went busting in, expecting to find it being attacked, but the poor thing was alone in one of those pop-up baby bed things.

Shya was a guest at one of the other hotels. They ran into each other when they were raiding the gas station at the same time, and teamed up.

Neither of them know what the baby’s name was, and they haven’t came up with a name they can agree on, so they’ve just been calling it Sweetie (it’s a girl). Neither one of them are any good with kids, so they handed her to Abby without even a blink.

Funny story: Sweetie cried the entire time Abby was holding her. I offered to take her while Abby made up a bottle. The minute I had her, she stopped crying. She’s sleeping next to me right now. We’re guessing her mom was a blonde or something. Bridget and Shya are both blonde…ish, which is probably why they managed alright, but Abby was a hard pass.

But anyway.

We’re probably gonna end up renaming Sweetie. I mean, it sounds kinda like a dog’s name, you know? So yeah. No.

The boys aren’t back yet. They called while we were gone, said something about they might be a little late, but it would be worth it? I sent them a text message asking them to pick up some formula, if they could. I’m not sure if they’ll be able to reach the baby stuff safely though. At least we don’t need diapers. Shya and Bridget took sheets from the hotel and cut them up to make cloth diapers. We took a couple bottles of bleach from the hotel laundry room.

Let’s see, what else. We weren’t able to get a lot of food, so depending on how things are going for the boys, we might have to send them back to raid the store some more.

Gonna go organize things and then get some rest. As soon as they guys get back, I want to get the stuff packed up and get outta here. We’ve been in this area too long, and we are too close to the city. We need to get outta here.

May 25th

8:31 am

Good god, I forgot how loud babies can be. “Sweetie” woke us all up at the crack of dawn. She’s back to sleep now, but I’m wide awake, so I took myself a nice long shower. We have the AC running, and the stove is working, but none of the food we have really looks appealing right now. God, I want coffee.

10:22 am

The boys are back. Plus one. Can’t exactly bitch them out when I found three of my own strays. At least their stray brought back useful stuff. All mine did was bring a baby.

His name is Alex. He’s part of the nightshift at that walmart. He said there’s about 20 people there. Late night customers and employees, mostly. They did find a few survivors, and invited them into the place. They barricaded all of the doors keep to the back of the store mostly. That’s where the bathrooms are. They took some cooking stoves and moved them back there, too, so they could cook food. They’re using the cushions and futon mattresses for beds, so they’ve got it made.

Scott and Dave warned them about the army going around bombing cities, and the person in charge there, they didn’t remember his name, but the guy said he would think about moving the people out to woods. Scott thinks he’s full of shit, considering he gave them a bunch of the backpacks and tents they had in stock, but who knows. The guy also let them switch out bikes, and hooked them up with baskets and stuff to carry everything back with, so I’m kinda inclined to agree with him.

It was kinda…ingenious (I guess?) how they hooked everything up. They used these wire things to attach shopping carts to the back of the bikes, and filled them up with stuff. One of the carts, the unrolled the sleeping bags, and lined the bottom with them, then put the tent boxes on top. They shoved a couple more sleeping bags between the boxes to keep them from banging around and making it all unbalanced. They filled the other cart with backpacks and baby supplies, so hey, score! They also sent along a couple things of, like….hamburger helper, but nothing substantial.

The boys found a couple gas stations along the way, and brought back a bunch of random shit, I don’t even know. We have more baseball bats, so there’s that, I guess. And portable charger things? Only 3 of them, and I’m not sure how they work, but um, yay? We have a bunch more charger cords now, so no more only charging 4 phones/bluetooths at a time.

The guy at walmart also tossed in a bunch of the cell phones they had in stock, since no one will be buying them. We can’t use them, since they’re not activated (dick move, man. I mean, c’mon, it would’ve taken a whole 5 minutes? Maybe?), but we can charge the batteries and use those in the phones we have. We have them all plugged in now. They won’t get to fully charge before we leave, but it’s better than nothing.

YES!! Abby was going through the baby supplies stuff, and there was a carrier in there. It might be a little big for Sweetie right now, but she’ll grow into it soon enough. No stroller (which is fine), but there’s a bassinet thing? I think she said? From the picture, it looks like a pop-up one what we brought from the hotel, but I suppose it won’t hurt to have more than one?

Okay, enough writing. Time to be helpful and get shit packed. I still want to leave sometime today. Based on what Alex and Bridget are saying, we’re gonna have to backtrack a bit to avoid even more swampland, or we’ll have to go through town. Fuuuuck that. Backtracking it is, and AWAY from this damn highway. Something about it is just giving me the creeps.

May 26th

2:02 am

Well, turns out it wasn’t the road I needed to be worried about. It was the fucking sky. Forgive me if this jumps around a lot. I’m trying to divide my time between this and keeping watch/patrolling.

It didn’t take long to get everything packed up. Most of it was still in boxes, so we just moved them from the carts to the wagons. Abby went to start making lunch, and the boys went to unhook the carts from the bikes (they were just too wibbly-wobbly to keep like that). We were going to keep the shopping carts, but then we heard a familiar sound.

Air planes.

Going right over the house. Ran outside just in time to see OH FUCK raining down from the planes. It was a lot different from when they bombed Richmond. With Richmond, we could smell the smoke, and the sky was orange, but this…we felt the initial explosions, and we could feel them getting closer.

Dunno if you remember this, but hey, gas station. Right across the street from us. Can you say ‘fuck that shit’?! All it’d take is one of those bombs, missiles, WHATEVER hitting the pumps, and we wouldn’t have to worry about trolls anymore, that’s for damn sure.

We tossed Chloe, Timmy, and Sweetie (God we need a new name for her) into one of the carts and started hauling ass out of there. Chloe and Timmy were too scared to be scream, but Sweetie wasn’t. Imagine any action movie you can possibly think of, where the heroes are running away from a massive fireball…and then replace the background music with a baby SCREAMING her bloody head off.

That was us.

We ended up having to stop long enough to dig out a pacifier for the baby. She kept spitting it out, so Chloe and Timmy took turns shoving it back in her mouth.

We ran our asses off, but we didn’t get far. We had to backtrack so many fucking times because we would run into one godforsakenfuckingWHATTHEFUCK SWAMP. HOW DOES ANYONE LIVE IN THIS FUCKING STATE WITHOUT BECOMING SWAMP THING?!

Sorry, but seriously oh my FUCKING GOD. I thought the swamps were all in the fucking SOUTH, in you know, FLORIDA or fucking Louisianna! THIS IS VIRGINIA, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! I just…I can’t. I CAN’T. We lost so much fucking time because water and earth and mud and WHAT THE FUCK? WHY?!

Ugh. Whatever.

So yeah. We ran. I kept us running until we couldn’t run anymore, and then I started looking for a house. We found one in the middle of a field. The sky is all red. No one is “officially” on watch tonight. We’re all too wiped. I’m trying to stay awake til dawn. I don’t think we’ll have any problems, but with all those bombs and shit, I’m worried about running into another horde. Especially with how many people we have now.

Do you have any idea how loud a group this large is? The squeak of the wagon wheels (which Mike plans on fixing when he wakes up), the rattle of the stuff in the wagon (not much we can do about that), the footsteps, the dog, the coughing, sneezing and everything else, and now a baby. We’re a walking smorgasbord for trolls, and there’s not much we can do about it. I honestly thought the woods would be the safest place for us, but I don’t know what to think now.

The army said to stay off the main roads, and seemed to agree with me about staying off-road, but what if we run into another horde? We still don’t know what’s going to happen with Mike, and we can’t be sure we’ll be able to reach the trees before they see us next time. Even if we DO reach the trees, how am I supposed to keep Sweetie quiet? We’ve somewhat managed to get Chloe to understand the need to be quiet, but Sweetie is too young to reason with. She’s a baby. And to think, I was bitching about Chloe. This is karma, I’m telling you.

Either this dog is really smart, or he’s scared of being left outside again. Everytime we let him out to do his business, he gets done real quick and runs back in. No playing around, none of the “I’m gonna stand here and ponder the meaning of life instead of pissing” bullshit dogs usually do. We’re not too far from the city, so he might also be smelling the smoke, I don’t know, but fuck yeah. WHO’S A GOOD BOY?! Wish we had some dog treats. That’s a definite NOPE though. Out of all the shit we have, dog treats is NOT on that list.

I’ve been checking out this house. It’s not huge, or anything, but it’s nice. It looks like whoever lived here cleared out in a hurry, so I’m guessing they’re still alive somewhere. Bad news for us: their pantry is empty of anything we could use.

I take that back: there’s spaghetti noodles. No spaghetti sauce, but if we get desperate, there we go.

Found a hidden stash of cookies.

Bridget and Alex are awake and talking quietly in a corner. They’re going to take over watch so I can get some sleep. Not sure I trust them, but whatever. Sleep is good.


Bridget and Alex are leaving. They’re going back towards town to see if there are any survivors. I warned them it wasn’t a good idea, but they refuse to listen. I gave them what advice I could, but we don’t really have enough supplies to send with them.

We gave them a tent to share, and a couple of the bats. They said to keep the sleeping bags though. They plan on only camping in houses, so they’ll take blankets from there.

Shya is staying with us.

I’m still fucking tired, but we’re gonna try and move a little more today.


I’m writing this, then sleeping. I’m not on watch tonight.

I’m not really surprised Bridget and Alex left. That was their town, Alex had friends there, and for all I know, so did Bridget. I didn’t get a chance to really talk to them, so I don’t know, but it stands to reason.

I don’t think they’re going to find anyone though. When the bombs first started falling, Alex tried talking us into going back and seeing if we could find any other survivors, but then the planes started in again, and they were flying this weird pattern, Scott says he thinks that’s what it’s called when they do a grid? I don’t know, but basically they were making sure to completely wipe out anything that was living in that city, and we needed to get the hell out of there.

He came along (obviously), but we could tell it was eating him alive. For his sake, I hope he finds his friends, and I hope they make it somewhere safe. For my people’s sake, I’m glad the two of them left.

I started this trip out wanting to go it alone. That hasn’t changed (no offense guys), but at the same time, I can’t think of anyone I’d want to leave behind. Everyone here pulls their own weight (Sweetie doesn’t count). We’ve got this whole ‘moving together’ thing down. Scott and I don’t fight anymore. Jason has started developing the “mom” voice (which is interesting to hear), Timmy is on top of his jobs, and Chloe checks the wagon daily to make sure there are still enough pines cones and stuff for building fires. She’s been keeping track of the water bottles, too and making sure Lucky is fed and watered. (Oh, and I thought she was on the young side of 4, but she’ll be 5 next month. Here’s hoping we’re at dad’s place by then)

Even Shya is trying to help. She doesn’t know much, but she’s trying. She’s asking questions about the trip, about what is needed, what she can do to help. Part of it is because she plans on leaving eventually too, so she can try and get back home to her own family, but any help is good, you know? (Also, that means one less person. BONUS!)

Can’t think of anything else tonight. We’re in a house, no power. Going to sleep. Goodnight.

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