[Say ‘No’ to Zombies!] Day 33-36

What happens when a person with some common sense wakes up to a “zombie apocalypse”? Shit gets done, that’s what.

Spoiler: the dog doesn’t die.

Please note: this work of fiction involves a lot of swear words/cussing and adult themes. Kiddos beware.

May 20th

2:22 pm

Should’ve known yesterday was too good to last.

I am currently writing this, perched in a tree. I can’t see the others, but I know they’re all in their own trees. It should be safe to get down and start moving, but we’re not taking any chances.

No more camping on the ground for us. Not if we can help it, anyway. Not after today. If it wasn’t for Lucky, we’d all be dead. He’d been acting weird all day, randomly growling at the trees. Then all of a sudden, he just whipped around and started growling real low in his throat, with his hackles up.

Scott wasn’t on scout duty today, so he went back to see if he could find out what was wrong. Then he came running back, whisper-yelling “Trees! In a tree, NOW!” By that time, we had already kinda figured out what was happening. The men started throwing the girls up in the nearest tree, then the kids after them. Dave and Ben were scouting ahead. Somewhere in the mess of us all trying to get out of reach, Scott managed to call and warn them.

I lost count after about 35, and that was just counting the ones that passed directly under my tree. Biggest group we’ve ever seen. Outside of the cities, anyway. Still no obvious signs of decomposing. Well, none that I could see, but there were a lot of leaves in the way, so I don’t even know.

We’re not sure yet if we have a casualty. Mike had trouble getting up in his tree, and a troll managed to get her hands on his ankle before he was out of reach. She didn’t get her teeth in him, and he was able to break her hold, but he has a couple deep scratches from her fingernails. With us not knowing how this shit is spread, we don’t know if that’s enough to infect him or not. We cleaned it out as soon as we could, doused it with alcohol and peroxide. The only thing we can do now is wait.

We also haven’t seen Lucky since this all happened. I feel like shit for that right there. He saved our lives, but none of us thought to toss him in a tree with someone. I mean, he’s not exactly small dog, but one of the guys or I could’ve held him long enough for the horde to pass. But then again, if he had been in a tree, we might’ve all died anyway.

When the trolls saw Mike, a bunch of them gathered around his tree, clawing at the bark and each other, trying to get to him some more. Who knows how long they would’ve stayed there if Lucky hadn’t distracted them. Scott was about to drop out of our tree and try running and yelling, then we heard howling. Lucky came running in, barking and growling, darting between their legs.

Ever see a group of drunk people trying to catch a greased pig? If it hadn’t been a life-or-death thing going on, I probably would’ve fell out of the tree laughing. The trolls tried, oh, how they tried, but they were just no match. They ran/shambled after him, and that was the last we heard or saw of him.

We’re gonna have to spread out our scouts. Have two people in each direction, kinda like a circle. I want them all within sight of each other. It shouldn’t be a problem, with how many people we have now, but I’m still worried. I can’t believe how close it was today.

Needless to say, we’re not gonna make it very far today. We’ve already been up in these trees for the last two and a half hours, and we’ll be here for at least another half hour. I want to make sure the horde is long gone.

Scott’s with Mike right now. He climbed down as soon as the last of the trolls were out of view, grabbed the first aid kit and climbed up to start working on cleaning out the scratches. A few stragglers came by while he was doing that, but they didn’t stop. I’m thinking they’re following something, a smell or a sound that we haven’t picked up yet. Or maybe they’re running from something. That would make a little more sense, but what would they be running from? And if they’re running, shouldn’t we be running too?

Unless it’s like what the army guy told us. If there was a huge attack and a bunch of the trolls were dead, would the pheromones tell the trolls to get away from the area? I thought he meant that the pheromones would call them, but maybe I have it wrong? If that’s the case, then we could definitely use this to our advantage. Have the scouts go on ahead, toss a grenade into a group of trolls, then sit back and wait for the area to clear out. Unless it takes a certain amount of death to create that effect.

Looks like we have more experiments to do. Oh, joy.


Well, so much for the not camping on the ground. We made it a good distance, but we weren’t able to reach a house. We tried, but the sun went down, and it was getting too dark to keep going.

The other agreed with my suggestion about the scouts. They added something to it: check-ins with the main group. They’re going to be taking turns, going clockwise, and when they check in, they’re rotating. So, let’s say Scout 1 comes to check in. Scout 2 makes their way to where Scout 1 was. Scout 3 moves to Scout 2’s position, Scout 4 to Scout 3, etc.. Then when Scout 1 goes back, they’re in Scout 8’s position. It sounds complicated in writing, but it’s not that bad. We’ve already put it into practice, and it’s worked pretty well. It also allows us to switch out scouts in case one of them needs a break from it, and to give others a chance to practice.

Now we’re trying to figure out tents again. We have 15 people, and not enough tents. Not really, anyway. We have two 2-person tents, a one person little pup tent thing, and one really big one. What we were doing was having Mike and Karla in one tent. Whoever was going on last watch had the other two-person tent, and everyone else not on watch in the big tent. Now we have two couples, and it’s kinda…ew…to have them take turns sharing the tent, you know?

We could give Gabby and Becca the other two-person tent, but then when the shift change happens, there’s the risk of waking up the others in the large tent, and that isn’t fair to anyone either. Especially if Chloe wakes up and starts crying, and everyone else wakes up too.

Before, I had talked about rigging tents up out of the tarps, but now we’re using the tarps for the wagons, so that’s out. We might just have to risk running into a larger town and seeing if we can find a Walmart or something. I hate to do that, but we’re running out of choices.

Mike is okay so far. He says the scratches don’t hurt any worse than he would expect, but that doesn’t mean anything. He’s promised that he’ll let us know if he starts feeling different. Not sure what we’ll do if he ends up sick, though.

We’re all trying to stay positive for now, but it’s not easy. Not so soon after Micah.

Melly really isn’t taking it well, of course. We had to cover her mouth earlier when she found out where the scratches came from. She was wailing. That was another part of why we didn’t make it very far today. We had to try and calm her down, and it took a while. She had all of us in tears.

It was supposed to be her turn to be on watch tonight, but Jason volunteered instead. The girls and Josh are all piled on her in a cuddle fest.

Blah. Watch is weird tonight. Usually, we have someone from about sunset-midnight, then from midnight til around 4 am, then from 4 am til everyone wakes up (but no later than 9 am). If we do that tonight, no one will really get any rest.

We need to rearrange the watch schedule anyway. Now that we have more people, we can afford to split up the watch even more. That will give everyone more rest, I’m thinking. We’ll see. I’ll talk it over with the others tomorrow.

Goodnight for now.

May 21st

9:07 pm

Okay, so we have a plan. (This is going to be short, I’m on dawn watch, so I need to get to sleep.)

Talked to Ben and Scott about the tent issue. Ben used the phone to look up if there are any stores nearby, and he found a Walmart about 6 miles away from where we’ve stopped tonight (house, yay!). He wanted to try and make a run for it tonight, but I told him no. There’s a highway that goes RIGHT by it. If the boys are gonna go into town, I’d rather wait til we’re closer to that highway so they can take the bikes on the road. Or, hell, they might be able to use one of the cars, if the highway is empty enough. Not gonna count on that though.

So yeah, we’re gonna to make our way through to the other highway, and a little closer to the city. We’re gonna have to go slow and be on our guard, but I’m hoping we might make it there tomorrow. We’ll see.

Mike is still doing okay. Lucky is still missing. The kids are depressed.

May 22

9:37 pm

We didn’t make it to the highway. Apparently Virginia is the land of the swamps, I swear to fucking god. Poor Scott and Dave were covered in mud today. Abby made some very uncomplimentary remarks about this state.

I can’t say I disagree at the moment. My legs feel like they want to fall off. I’m not entirely sure they’re not conspiring to abandon ship. No electricity in the house, and we’re down to the last three phones. They’re all on like 30-40% battery, too. Bluetooth drains the battery, unfortunately. We need to reach a place with power soon so we can recharge them all.

Wish us luck.

(Ps: Mike’s ankle is looking better, but still no Lucky.)

May 23

3:33 pm

We reached the highway. We’re actually in a house right next to the road. We’re not stopped for the day, but we are stopped for at least a couple hours. We were going to try and make it at least another mile up the road, but we had an unexpected visitor (don’t worry, it’s a good thing).


He is absofuckinglutely DISGUSTING, but he is back!

The house we’re in has….well, it has power, for the moment. It didn’t at first, but we were running a bath to get some of the nasty off the pooch, and it was like “Let there be light!” The phones are all plugged in and charging. We turned off all unneccessary (too many n’s c’s and s’, but I’m not sure where…) appliances for now. Once the phones are all charged, we might turn on the A/C and get some relief from the heat.

Or maybe we’ll let the guys run the electric shaver thing we found in the bathroom. Lord knows they need it. It’s not quite a ZZTop reunion, but it’s getting close.

To be fair, us ladies aren’t looking that great either. I know Karla said the razors were pointless, but seriously. Ben and I had a competition to see who had longer leg hair. I fucking WON. Not cool. Not cool at all. But on the plus side, no dealing with the itch as it grows back.

Annnd, Lucky is a clean puppy again. Well, not a puppy, he’s at least a couple years old, but all dogs are puppies to me. The phones aren’t done charging, so we’re gonna hang out for a little while longer. The guys are shaving.

Most of them, anyway.

Mike and Scott already had goatees, so they’re just trimming theirs.

I’m going to nap while I wait for the phones to charge.

7:06 pm

The phones aren’t charged yet. Abby woke me up because it’s going to be getting dark soon, and she wasn’t sure if I wanted to go ahead and get us moving, or wait for the phones to finish charging.

It was honestly hard to decide. I mean, we need to get moving, but who knows when we’ll be able to charge the phones again. I decided we’re going to stay the night here. We need to charge the bluetooth sets too, so we might as well.

The boys went out scouting a little bit. They opened up the map, and found a couple side roads they can take to the walmart. They’re hoping they’ll be a bit safer than the highway. There are a bunch of cars on the highway. Gridlocked. A good amount of them are empty, so either people got out and started walking/running while they could, or we’re gonna be in a shit load of trouble soon.

We’ll find out tomorrow, I guess. I told the others, whoever is on watch when everything is done charging, go ahead and turn on the A/C. Enjoy it while we can, I’m thinking. For now, we have all of the back windows open, trying to let in a breeze. The backyard is fenced in, but Josh is watching out their anyway.

I’m going back to sleep. Maybe I’ll take dawn watch.

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